Get yourselves a cup of tea this is a long one!
Hi guys! Today I wanted to discuss something I've been giving a lot of thought recently, and that's body confidence. Personally I love my body and I'm very comfortable with myself and what I look like, but I don't feel that way all the time and that is partly because I'm a blogger.
• • •
Instagram and social media including blogs are highlight reels of people's lives. Sometimes it can feel trivial and unimportant to spend ones life posting to Instagram, every day a new photo opp with a fake bag swing or casual look away to seem more candid. But this is my life, and the lives of many others and while it's amazing and I think about how lucky I am every day, taking photos all day everyday can sometimes have a negative impact.
• • •
Behind every insta girl photo is 1000 photos that make her look 'too fat' or 'ugly' or her arm is in the wrong place and her thighs too close together. I've recently done a couple bad shoots where I haven't liked the photos, mostly because of insane tiny reasons that no one else would care about.
In this photo I see that my head looks too big and the zip on my trousers looks weird and stretched, my arms also look 'too pudgy'. Which is insane, but you start to be very critical when you want that perfect shot.
And that's where the danger lies. You know sometimes you look in the mirror and you love your outfit, your makeup, your body looks amazing and your hair is super soft and gorgeous. Then you go somewhere and someone takes a bad picture and you can lose all that confidence. That can happen a lot when you're a blogger. Recently as I've said I've only done a couple bad shoots, but they made me feel so uninspired and put out, so I'm writing this post for other bloggers or really anyone who is too self critical and needs a little more self love!
I want to share my tips and tricks for body confidence and how to stay positive about how you look or about anything you do!
1. Tell yourself nice things!!!
If you too are going crazy over tiny 'flaws' like I was with that picture then find something you love about yourself in the picture and give yourself a little compliment. If we believe that we are perfect and amazing then we stop caring about anything else that could put us down. Being able to rely on yourself in this way is such a powerful and liberating thing.
• • •
Story time: I've been in a club with my friends and a friend of mine was being chatted up by some guy saying that his friend really fancied her then when she actually met the friend he decided that he wasn't that interested. This got her so down and I just thought why? Like who cares what that randomers opinion of her was, they had never even said a word to each other, he just didn't like how she looked. That's his opinion. But it affected her so much that it became her own opinion of herself for the night. That should never be the case!! Never ever tell yourself you aren't beautiful or clever or whatever because you're only hurting yourself. Other people's opinions can't have any affect on you if you just disagree. You do you girl.
2. Social media isn't real!
I've touched on this earlier but seriously it's a highlight reel!!
Take this picture, while I haven't photoshopped anything this photo is edited! The background is brighter and I like to desaturate parts of my photos to make them whiter, I also like to sharpen details to make them pop. So here I've sharpened the lace details, the necklaces, my eyelashes, AND the shaded parts of my body so I seem more toned. Also in posing for this I'm barely breathing and I'm wearing way more makeup than I would on an average day!
Do you guys know if there's even any tea in that cup???!!! (I'm English of course there actually is but you see my point)
So yes, people edit their photos and it's very easy to photoshop if you really wanted to.
It took me around 2 minutes to photoshop this with an app that I just downloaded for free.
While it isn't the best photoshop ever I made myself much much thinner, my hair is longer, nose smaller, lips bigger! My point is don't look at photos on insta or in magazines and compare yourself because 1. No one looks the same and beauty isn't some kind of checklist of physical features. And 2. While some photos might not be photoshopped they are for sure either edited or posed.
3. This is my favourite tip for body confidence and it's find something healthy that makes you feel amazing! For me it's music! I walk too and from my 'office' (dads house) everyday and I love to power walk to some powerful female artists to make me feel empowered and sexy and beautiful. If you find something that makes you feel that way then use it whenever you can to pick yourself up and practice self love.
While I believe everyone no matter what size should feel beautiful, the greatest form of self love is self care. Be the healthiest version of yourself because it's the best thing you can do to love yourself.
Here's a list of my top songs for self love:
1. Me myself and I, Feeling myself, or really any Beyoncé song.
2. Haters - TLC
3. Shake it off- Taylor Swift (obviously)
4.Most Girls- Hailee Steinfeld
5. FU - Miley Cyrus
6. You don't own me - Grace, G-Eazy
7. Stronger- Britney Spears
8. Lose Control- Missy Elliot
4. The instant fix
While you can't drastically change your appearance in a couple seconds you can change your attitude. If you're feeling down about your appearance the likelihood is you don't look any different to the last time you felt great, it's just your attitude. My tip would be to put on something you look amazing in every time to instantly feel better about yourself.
For me that thing is this bralette! I have a fairly small rib cage and a larger chest which means they don't make bras for me. I either have to get something huge and ugly, or something from a specialist and the bras available to me are always hefty and underwired and uncomfortable!
I love bralettes but I could never find one that actually fit until I got this one from Cosabella. This new bralette is specifically designed for women with small rib cages and larger chests and it's the only one I've found that fits perfectly and looks amazing! Having something that makes you feel comfortable and sexy is such a great confidence boost to have in your back pocket (or stuffed in your bra if you will)
So there you have it guys! Be kind to yourselves!!! Talk soon! Xoxo
Disclaimer: I was sent this bralette by Cosbella to do a couple Instagram posts, they have not asked me to do this blog post and as always all opinions are my own!